im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize