we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
