Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
