I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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