you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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