come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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