walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
