so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
