who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
