don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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