I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
