it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
