I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
