Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The best revenge is premature balding
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
