just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
