I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
