and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
