He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
