Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
