I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
