After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
