I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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