I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
