So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can I color on your dick again?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Randomize
