I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
