I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
