Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
