You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I need to align my fucking chakras
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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