My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
