Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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