i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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