I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
