just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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