I think I won the penis lottery.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
