in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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