Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
