I'm lost and stupid without you.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
