Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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