just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
