How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
