Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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