I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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