so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
