Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
