I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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