That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
