i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
