Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
