so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
