Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
