Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
