my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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