GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
