Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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