Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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