pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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