I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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