I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
