pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
