lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
