been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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