well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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