Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
