its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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